what am i doing??

i really dunno what am i doing i have all the knowledge that i need but i just dun dare to speak to strangers about what am i doing haix where have all my bravery and courage gone to=( in the end only end up hurting everyone feeling with the way i speak the way i do my things wtf why am i always dragging people down with me!! whenever they think i can do it i never do my best in the end get scolded not happy but din realised the mistakes lies in me all the while.. am i as stubborn as what they think?.. i think should be yes ba, as they ask mi do A i do B i just fucking do all my own way continuing this way im gg fail in everything i do come on jasmine wake up from u fucking own world its time to focus on the things u do le.